Been thinking about last week’s “mask bullying” incidents, wondering why, especially that walking around a nearby town (bigger than mine, almost “a city”) NO ONE told me anything about the face shield, ever (I go there at least twice a week).
So, is it the “small town mentality”?
But then again, I’ve been wearing the face shield since May, I go everywhere on foot in my little town, and nobody told me anything before, the aggressive policing started only this last week….
Then, I thought, maybe beside the reasons I mentioned in my former post, there is the “misery-must-have-company” syndrome?
If they are suffering and uncomfortable with the mask, then HOW DARE ANYONE wear something comfortable that doesn’t induce suffering?
Which brought to mind some aunts in Egypt who, a VERY long time ago, kept badgering me that I “had to” get married….
They had absolutely MISERABLE lives. Fighting with their spouses daily, living in a TOXIC environment (never physical violence, but a mental/psychological /emotional one) seemingly hating each other’s guts, picking on each other every single day for decades, hating their lives, yet, lo and behold, they went on and on nagging me to get married…..
I had always wondered WHY ON EARTH?!
Anyone with such an experience would warn others to think twice/thrice/ten times before getting into that…
Anyone sane, thinking, balanced and with a healthy conscience, that is…
I thought that the best case scenario was:
having learned that from their mother, who learned it from her mother, who, in turn, learned it from her mother, hence somewhere in the late 1800’s, they believed their duty as the older generation was to regurgitate what they had learned to the new generation…..
At the other end of the spectrum, the worst case scenario:
having had WRETCHED married lives, they wanted everybody else to have the same fate, following the mechanism whereby people try to perpetuate the abuse they’ve been through, instead of seeing to it that it doesn’t happen to anyone else…
Or, the somewhere-in-between case scenario:
That they need to believe that one doesn’t have much of a choice (which is what they believed when they got into their marriages, and STAYED IN THEM, despite the misery).
If someone comes along and provides an example that THERE IS SUCH A THING AS CHOICE, they’d be faced with the unbearable realization that they, too, could have exercised choice and had a different life..
hence their need to see to it that no such example exists, filling their world with people who acted like just them,
in order to feel good about themselves…
So what’s that got to do with traditional versus non-traditional masks?
It could be coming from the same place:
At best: everyone must wear what everyone is wearing, nothing can be different.
At worst: if they can’t breathe properly and are terribly uncomfortable, everyone should be like them, no one should DARE make themselves comfortable if they themselves aren’t…
Middle ground: they don’t want to see there is a possible variant, in this case, it involves two things:
1- Innovation/creativity: to MAKE AN EFFORT to seek or create something else that is relatively more comfortable
2- Character, courage, and if you’ll excuse my French, balls: to wear something different without “fearing” being told off or pushed around because it’s not the same like everybody else…
Easier to follow the crowd and tell off others who don’t….
Again, this is not about me wanting to stand out, this is about me bending over backwards for months trying to find something that would work around my asthma….
This is also not about me belittling those who wear traditional masks, but about having a bone to pick with those who intercept me on the street because my format isn’t like theirs, actively trying to badger/bully/police/discipline me out of the SMALLNESS of their minds ……
As for my aunts in Egypt, there was a “happy end” to the years-long-nagging, though not of the type they envisioned:
after years of barking at them to leave me alone, I wisened up and realized that sometimes humour is the best response:
I told them I am willing to get married INSTANTLY if they find someone with these specifications:
1- He had to be Vietnamese
(I wanted children who are half almond-eyes, half not, children of such a mix look so exotic, and one of the MAIN reasons my Egyptian aunts were nagging me was because of “children”, and the “but you MUST have children/you can’t possibly live without having children” bit. I told them that those exotic children are the only ones I want to have….)
2- He had to be a cook by profession
(I adore Vietnamese cuisine, it is poetry on a plate)
3- He had to be a resident of New Zealand
(I was obsessed with NZ and wanted to immigrate there back then)
4- He had to be a certified reflexologist
(a good session of reflexology is the mother-of-all-treats)
So, a Vietnamese cook resident of New Zealand with a reflexology certification… that’s all I’m asking for
After that, whenever any of those good souls would open their mouths about marriage, I’d say “well, I told you I’m in, it is you who won’t find me the guy I’m willing to marry”…..
THAT put an end to the nagging,
and put a long-lasting smile on my face…
I doubt I’ll find such a story to shoo away the “your-mask-must-be-like-my-mask-or-else” souls….
But I’ll keep trying, maybe some stardust will fall inside my head and I’d come up with a story that does the job….